Saturday, April 18, 2009

Top ten foul mouthed fellas

Words (very strong ones) not pictures on today’s top ten.

Cheech Marin as Chet in ‘From Dusk Till Dawn’
“Come on in pussy lovers! Here at the Titty Twister we’re slashing pussy in half! Give us an offer on our vast selection of pussy. This is a pussy blow out. We got white pussy, black pussy, Spanish pussy, yellow pussy, we got hot pussy, cold pussy, we got wet pussy, we got smelly pussy, we got hairy pussy, bloody pussy, we got snappin’ pussy, we got silk pussy, velvet pussy, Naugahyde pussy, we even got horse pussy, dog pussy, chicken pussy. Come on, you want pussy. Come on in, pussy lovers. If we don’t got it, you don’t want it. Come on in, pussy lovers. If you can find cheaper pussy anywhere else … fuck it!”

Joe Pesci as Tommy DeVito in ‘Goodfellas’
Tommy: What do you mean I’m funny?
Henry: It’s funny, you know. It's a good story, it’s funny. You’re a funny guy.
Tommy: What do you mean? You mean the way I talk? What?
Henry: It's just, you know. You're just funny, it’s ... it’s funny, the way you tell the story and everything.
Tommy: Funny how? What’s funny about it?
Anthony: Tommy, no. You got it all wrong.
Tommy: Whoa, whoa, Anthony. He’s a big boy. He knows what he said. What did you say? Funny how?
Henry: Just, you know, you’re funny.
Tommy: You mean … let me understand this ’cause, ya know, maybe it’s me. I’m a little fucked up, maybe. But I’m funny how? I mean, funny like I’m a clown? I amuse you? I make you laugh? I’m here to fuckin’ amuse you? What do you mean funny, funny how? How am I funny?
Henry: Just... you know, how you tell the story. What?
Tommy: No, no, I don't know. You said it. How do I know? You said I’m funny. How the fuck am I funny? What the fuck is so funny about me?

Jack Nicholson as “Bad Ass” Baddusky in ‘The Last Detail’
: I’m gonna call the shore patrol.
Baddusky: I am the motherfucking shore patrol, motherfucker. I am the motherfucking shore patrol. Now give this man a beer.
Meadows: I don’t want a beer.
Baddusky: You’re gonna have a fuckin’ beer.

Brendan Gleeson as Ken and Ralph Fiennes as Harry in ‘In Bruges’
: Let’s face it, Harry – you’re a cunt. You’ve always been a cunt. The only thing that's gonna change is that you’ll become an even bigger cunt. Maybe have some more cunt kids.
Harry: You retract that bit about my cunt fucking kids.
Ken: I retract that bit about your cunt fucking kids.
Harry: Insulting my fucking kids! That's going overboard, mate.
Ken: I retracted it, didn’t I?

Steve Martin as Neal Page in ‘Planes, Trains & Automobiles’
Receptionist: Welcome to Marathon. May I help you?
Neal: Yes.
Receptionist: How may I help you?
Neal: You can start by wiping that fucking dumb ass smile off your rosy fucking cheeks. Then you can give me a fucking automobile. A fucking Datsun, a fucking Toyota, a fucking Mustang, a fucking Buick. Four fucking wheels and a seat.
Receptionist: I really don’t care for the way you’re speaking to me.
Neal: And I really don’t care for the way your company left me in the middle of fucking nowhere with the fucking keys to a fucking car that isn’t fucking there. And I really didn’t care to fucking walk down a fucking highway and across a fucking runway to get back here to have you smile in my fucking face. I want a fucking car right fucking now!

Al Pacino as Ricky Roma in ‘Glengarry Glen Ross’
“You stupid fucking cunt. You, Williamson – I’m talkin’ to you, shithead. You just cost me six thousand dollars. Six thousand dollars and one cadillac. That’s right. What are you gonna do about it? What are you gonna do about it, asshole? You’re fucking shit. Where did you learn your trade, you stupid fucking cunt, you idiot? Whoever told you that you could work with men? Ooooh I’m gonna have your job, shithead. I’m going downtown to Mitch and fucking Murray … I don’t care whose nephew you are, who you know, whose dick you’re suckin’ on, you’re goin’ out. I swear to you … What you’re hired for is to help us. Does that seem clear to you? To help us. Not to fuck us up. To help men who are going out there, to try to earn a living. You fairy. You company man.”

Tom Cruise as Les Grossman in ‘Tropic Thunder’
“First, take a big step back and literally fuck your own face! I don’t know what kind of pan-pacific bullshit power play you’re trying to pull here, but Asia Jack is my territory. So whatever you’re thinking you’d better think again, otherwise I’m gonna have to head down there and I will rain down in a godly fucking firestorm upon you. You’re gonna have to call the fucking United Nations and get a fucking binding resolution to keep me from fucking destroying you. I’m talking about a scorched earth, motherfucker. I will massacre you. I will fuck you up.

Hugh Grant as Charles in ‘Four Weddings and a Funeral’
“Fuck fuck fuckitty fuck!”

Dennis Hopper as Frank Booth in ‘Blue Velvet’
“I’ll send you a love letter - straight from my heart, fucker. You know what a love letter is? It’s a bullet from a fucking gun. You receive a love letter from me, you’re fucked – forever. You understand, fuck? I’ll send you straight to hell, fucker.”

Quentin Tarantino as Mr Brown in ‘Reservoir Dogs’
“Let me tell you what ‘Like a Virgin’ is about. It’s about this cooze who’s a regular fuck machine. I'm talking morning, day, night, afternoon: dick, dick, dick, dick, dick, dick, dick …Then one day she meets this John Holmes motherfucker and it’s like, whoa baby! I mean, this cat’s like Charles Bronson in the ‘Great Escape’. He’s diggin’ tunnels. Now, she's getting’ this serious dick action and she’s feeling something she ain’t felt since forever: pain … It hurts just like it did the first time. You see, the pain is reminding a fuck machine what it once was like to be a virgin. Hence ‘Like a Virgin’.”

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