Tuesday, June 16, 2009

It lives!

Continued from yesterday’s melodramatic and adjective-spattered entry …

The weary and dejected figure of the daemon blogger detached itself from the computer late last night and, pausing only to howl at the moon and pour another glass of pinot grigio, trudged evilly into the marble-floored bedchamber and heaved itself onto the Ikea bottom-of-the-range coffin (okay, bed actually, but I’m still in the mood to grant myself poetic licence!)

Bride of blogger turned cool appraising eyes on her daemon lover and enquired in dulcet tones, “So what was all the swearing about?”

“The memory stick, my preccccciousssssss,” daemon blogger lisped. “Lost to me and all it contains.”

“So you broke it then?”


“What was on it that you needed so badly.”

“An article on the ‘Scream’ trilogy. 1,500 words.”

“When did you write that?”

A horrible sound gurgled through the night air. It was daemon blogger coughing and saying, “At work,” at the same time.

With a rolling of the eyes – for bride of blogger had a strong work ethic and knew a fearful curse would fall on her should she ever do stuff like that on the firm’s time (the Curse, ’twas called, of the Written Warning) – she held out her hand for the memory stick. Daemon blogger handed the wretched talisman over, drank deep of his pinot grigio and slipped into an agitated slumber …

… only to waken, some time later, as thunder boomed through the heavens and see, illuminated in a jagged flash of lightning, bride of blogger jamming the memory stick into a USB port at an unnatural angle, like a maniac’s knife twisting in a wound, and crying, “Liiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiivvvve! Liiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiivvvve!”

And so it was, by sheer brute force triumphing over any semblance of technical know-how, the 1,500 word article on the ‘Scream’ trilogy was brought back to life. Thrill to its reanimated corpse on this very blog tomorrow.

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