Greetings to however of few of you web-surfing horror
aficionados still wend your wicked way to this dastardly and disreputable
corner of the blogosphere.
Needs must, I commence this year’s prefatory address
with an apology. I usually take my annual break from Agitation (1st November to 30th September) in the secure knowledge that the wordy
little homunculus who administrates these pestilential pages will keep up a
decent schedule of sarcastic commentary, caustic opinionism and generally revel
in the kind of filmic fare that your mother would chastise you for, your wife
divorce you for, and your best mates come round to watch with a keg of beer and
a pizza the size of Kanye West’s ego. Only last year I took my break and what
did said homunculus do? He got sidetracked by a publishing project and the
training for a half marathon. And what do I come back to? A corner of the
blogosphere emptier than David Cameron’s moral conscience.
So do please accept my apologies for a half year’s
depletion of content. If this vile little blog hasn’t for some strange reason
fallen like a dead leaf from your link list, please also accept my heartiest
thanks and my assurances that young Fulwood has been imprisoned in a dank
basement with only a laptop, a WiFi password, some slightly out of date snack
foods and a stack of DVDs. Once he’s redeemed himself with this year’s 13 For
Halloween and a good showing on the Winter of Discontent, he’ll be allowed a
couple of beers, a shower and three-minute telephone call with Mrs F. Any funny
business and it’ll be the nipple clamps and some unspeakable business with a
rubber chicken.
But I digress. In the spirit of compliance, young
Fulwood has already penned this month’s first horror movie review, and is
currently sketching out the second (under threat of a rusty metal-working tool
and a Justin Bieber CD on a continuous loop). I think it’s safe to say that
things will be getting back to normal around these parts.
You’re welcome, folks. Don’t mention it. The pleasure is
all mine …
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